Hormone-free birth control

In New Zealand, diaphragms and spermicide are not recommended by the powers-that-be.☝️

Because of this they have not been available in this country since 2010. ¹

The Ministry of Health says that the reasons for this ‘ban’ are (and I’m paraphrasing here):
Females are feeble creatures who can’t protect themselves.
They therefore ideally require modern, idiot-proof contraception be ‘installed’ in their body (as in LARCs; Long-Acting Reversible Contraception such as IUDs or implants). This way they don’t have to worry-their-pretty-little-heads about it. They can simply ‘fit and forget’ and just ‘lie back and think of England’… 😒

Diaphragms and spermicide aren’t accessible from pharmacies or health clinics.
This isn’t actually a reason for the ban — rather it’s the result of it! That’s what happens when they’re not prescribed anymore. 🤦🏼‍♀️

This strategic obsolescence is a crying shame!

This female barrier contraception was a valuable device — a real gem — as when used properly it gave us control over our sex-lives without jeopardising our health, our fertility, or our lifestyle, in the process.

Over the years, I’ve been saying to my younger (heterosexual) female clients who come to see me with hormonal or fertility concerns, what a ‘kick in the balls’ it is that female barrier contraception is no longer available in New Zealand.

Sadly, what I’ve found is that anyone who is younger than a (mid-to-late) Millennial hasn’t even heard of these medical devices! 😳

So, I explain to them what they are:

In the 90s and the 00s, it was dome shaped and made of latex (as above). You would smear it in spermicide, and insert it (like a menstrual cup) high up into your vagina to stop sperm from getting into your cervix — and from ultimately getting to your eggs. Neither you or your partner could feel it during sex — just each other! You would leave this device in place for a set number of hours before retrieving it (which ironically required you to experiment with more ‘positions’ than the actual sex did…🤸🏼🧘🏼‍♀️🏋️‍♂️) And, because you couldn’t feel it when it was in place, just remembering to remove it was problematic (as back then we didn’t have fancy-pants smartphones to alert us.) Once you had managed to retrieve it you would simply wash it with a mild soap, dry it thoroughly, and return it to its container — ready and waiting for your next primal urge to strike!

I further explain:
Diaphragms were ideal for use when you were in a committed, and/or long-term relationship with someone. Because while these devices didn’t protect you from contracting STIs, they did save you from having to continuously be on birth control when you and your man were no longer, well… ‘crazy’ in love, and you were now in a position to ‘contain’ yourself. 

In an evolving, loving relationship, diaphragms were much better than using condoms as ‘rubbers’ reduce natural lubrication (leading to friction), they reduce sensation, and they increase fumbling! Condoms can also cause allergic reactions to their latex or spermicides.

The diaphragm — this ‘hidden’ gem — really was ‘next level’ in many ways. Having a diaphragm made you feel powerful and in control because it was your idea to initiate sex. So, instead of greeting your man at the door with freshly applied lippy — as women were encouraged to do back-in-the-day — you could just greet him with a sly smile! 😉

These ‘newer’ generations all agree that this device sounds like a splendid way to protect yourself from not only getting pregnant, but from having to be perpetually ‘jacked-up’ on synthetic hormones.

So, I’ve finally made a big decision — no more reminiscing☝️
I would not have these forms of birth-control consigned to the pages of New Zealand history.² As a female, a former ‘user’, and a holistic health practitioner (in her 20th year of practice), I’m making a ‘booty’ call on this — for us Kiwi Chicks! 👊

There’s always been one reason or another as to why I’ve not progressed with this plan.

Back then, I was too scared to bring a diaphragm in for myself from overseas as I didn’t know what size to get. Because by the time I thought to get one from outside of New Zealand, I’d already binned what I thought was a useless (no good!) script.

Note: Yes, I did contact that doctor’s surgery for these details but conveniently (for them) they apparently had no record of me ever having been sexually ‘insulted’ by them…😵‍💫

Again, back then, Diaphragms came in numerous sizes and you needed to be fitted for them by a medical professional. So, if I wanted to be sure of sizing I would have had to purchase a number of different sizes ($$$!!!), and venture back to The Ancient Nurse… but clearly I wasn’t keen to ever see her again, let alone make eye-contact 👀 👀

I also wasn’t keen to use harsh, chemical spermicide with my device. And no-one would send gentle, natural contraceptive gel to NZ at that time. (See the box below to discover why I wanted this stuff and not the other stuff.)

However, we’ve now been 15-odd years without this birth-control option, and during this time these devices have been modernised. So, not only do you no longer need to be ‘fitted’ for them (praise be!!!), but they are also more effective. AND I can now finally access Contraceptive Gel 👊

Over these same 15-odd years, I’ve also seen an enormous amount of young women agonise over their hormonal health, and angst about their long-term fertility.

So, even though I’m no longer in the market for one myself, I’ve decided to become a Madam of sorts! And the ‘sexual service’ that I now offer? I’m offering: Cervical Caps & Contraceptive Gel for “motivated women who are having intermittent sex“.

These devices are not for everyone. Some women prefer the convenience of contraception ‘installation’, others don’t mind ‘popping pills’ or using condoms, and others yet don’t mind tracking their menstrual cycles (thanks to smart phones) to know when they are in their ‘not-safe’ zone (while ovulating). However, for those women who don’t find any of these options appealing (due to their individual circumstances or preferences), I’ll be providing YOU with another effective option.

I’m very pleased to offer you this alternative, natural birth-control. I’ve specifically curated it for you 😘

A modern Cervical Cap
(From the USA, and is FDA approved.)
It’s smaller than a Diaphragm (and therefore less intimidating), and fits snugly around your cervix. The brim of this device forms a seal against the vaginal wall and acts as a funnel to direct semen into the groove. The groove acts as both a reservoir to contain Contraceptive Gel, and a trap for sperm to be neutralised. It has a clever strap that initially activates a vacuum seal over the cervix, then during the removal process, releases the suction for retrieval.

Note: Because the fit of this device is likened to a ‘thimble’ (capping your thumb) it enables you to be more ‘nimble’ (in the boudior)…If you know what I mean? 😉

I prefer the cervical cap to using a modern one-size-fits-all Diaphragm (which has a separate inserter/remover for an additional cost). Or, to using a traditional Diaphragm that needs fitting 👵🏼🫣

Note: A Diaphragm can also put pressure on the bladder making it uncomfortable to wear for an extended period of time.

And I much prefer the FemCap to the Caya Diaphragm, as with the latter device, any information that accompanies it tends to use ‘smoke and mirrors’ — as in, it gives you preference percentages rather than an exact efficacy figure. 

Contraceptive Gel 60g
(From Germany)
Aside from what I’ve already told you about this, this gel also provides more bang-for your-buck — approximately 12-20 bangs! (as opposed to a leading brand of Spermicide in the USA that only offers 10 bangs.)

You need to use 1/4 tsp of Caya Gel inside the FemCap (the dome and brim), and 1/2 tsp on the flip-side (the groove, between the outside of the dome, and the brim.)

Note: Caya Diaphragm Gel is water-based so you can also use it with a natural latex condom — should you require (as above). And, obviously it’s compatible with your FemCap. Once opened, you need to use your Caya (ki-ya) Diaphragm Gel within three months. 

My offering to you:
The FemCap (regardless of size): $210.00
Caya Diaphragm Gel: (60g) $45.00
Total: $255.00+ postage & packaging