Allow myself to get stressed, silly busy, pissed-off with life, and/or go on holiday.
Relegate my diet and health from a priority position.
Use Step One as a convenient excuse to eat and drink whatever the hell I want because I feel it will make things better/easier.
Marvel at how much extra tucker I can chow back without the scales really noticing! Confidently continue with Step Three.
Ignore the fact that my current diet isn’t actually helping me to feel less stressed, more productive or happy. And, that it’s possibly making me feel worse…
Focus instead on the fact that I’m one of the lucky few who can eat anything they like and still retain their ‘girlish figure’! Hoorah 🙌
Discover that my scales have now weighed the evidence against me and that they’re now indicating I’ve put on 2–3 kgs!
What the actual fu<k?
(Pick up scales. Put down scales. Re-weigh self. Move scales to somewhere ‘more level’ in the bathroom. Re-weigh self. Change the batteries. Re-weigh self. Contemplate buying new scales.)
Start worrying about how the extra weight ‘suddenly’ got on and where my high metabolism went to? Forget everything I know about Naturopathy.🤦♀️
Continue with Step Three while I’m processing what’s just occurred.
Realise that I’m now not only stressed, silly busy, or pissed-off with life (or on holiday still) but that I’m now also overweight and addicted to certain foods and drinks 🤦♀️
Continue with Step Three as obviously I now need to self-soothe with comfort-eating as all of this has become rather overwhelming and even more emotional (disbelief, disappointment, frustration, guilt).
Gain another 1–2kg and concede that I don’t actually possess a magical metabolism, that I feel quite shit, and that some protein and salad would actually make me feel much better about everything.
Reinstate diet and health to the top of my priority list and take immediate action to right my wrongs in order to become a lesser person.
At least until I get stressed, busy, pissed-off with life, and/or go on holiday — again…🪀😉
Note: If you’re a healthy weight to begin with, I’ll explain how you can initially eat ‘extra tucker’ and not have your scales register this in an upcoming Well Sh!t snippet! x
What to read more? For articles from me on weight management:
Lisa Fitzgibbon is a degree qualified (2006), experienced and registered Naturopath & Medical Herbalist. She runs her own private practice – OOMPH in Grey Lynn, Auckland, New Zealand.
Lisa has been involved in the Natural Health industry for 16 years. She draws on her professional training and experience, as well as her own personal experience to bring you realistic, holistic health advice.Book online