Barista Oat Milk

I totally get it. There are too many factors to consider these days.

You might be drinking barista oat milk in your coffee because you wanted to go dairy-free to support the moovement away from consuming another animal’s baby’s milk. And, upon sampling the various plant milks, you decided that oat milk tastes the best (as it tastes neutral) in coffee.

However, because you were too busy focused on your primary, and then secondary objective, you may have forgotten to factor your own health into what has no-doubt become a daily ritual — given the addictive nature of what you’re adding this plant milk to.

At the end of the day, you’ve just got to be aware of all the factors, so you can come up with the best solution for you. And hopefully that solution doesn’t contain too much weird science!
🤪🧪🧫👩🏻‍🔬☕️

It’s interesting to see how our coffee preferences have changed over the years.

More than a decade ago, the ‘whitener’ for your Flat White, Cappuccino, Latte or Mochaccino was simply ‘blue-top milk’ (full-fat dairy milk) or ‘green top’ (trim milk) if you were weight-conscious. Some cafes even provided soy milk if you were lactose intolerance.

However, over the past couple of years, from what I’ve observed, seemingly every other person who orders a coffee requests the most milky of all the coffees — the Latte. (Which literally means ‘milk’ in Italian.) But they’re not ordering a ‘standard issue’ Latte. No! They’re now guzzling back Oat Lattes by the…by the…ounce! 🤦🏼‍♀️¹

And why?
I actually have no bloody idea.
But I’m desperate to find out 😫
I sure wish I could interview these people at the point of purchase… where’s an ‘official’ looking clipboard when you need one?

Have they moved away from dairy milk because:
a. It gives them bloating or the ‘squirts ‘ (diarrhoea)
b. They think its bad for them, the animals, and/or the planet
c. They prefer the taste of plant milk (especially over trim milk)
d. All of the above
e. None of the above

Now, clearly, I can’t argue with a taste preference… or a pooing preference for that matter 😋

And, obviously I won’t argue that drinking oat milk is much better for our ‘moos’, and for our planet.

However, I will argue with anyone who’s now drinking lots of oat milk because they think it’s good for them (or at least not as bad for them as dairy milk). Because while you might feel better for drinking this stuff… it’s ultimately not better for your health.

There’s a reason why there is a different version of plant milk to make coffee than there is to simply wet food at home. And that’s because normal plant milk would only serve to dilute your espresso and then curdle it. 😝

To make plant milk Barista grade you need to essentially double the fat content and add dipotassium phosphate.

The extra fat is necessary to create ‘silky’ foam/froth
They generally use polyunsaturated fat (Omega 6) to do this — to steam and ‘stretch’ the milk. 

The dipotassium phosphate stops your ‘cup of slosh’ from curdling or separating out
They use this pH buffer to ‘buff’ against heat, and coffee’s acidity.

And, while this ‘stuff’ is supposedly safe to drink in moderation… it’s not if you drink it in excess. Unfortunately though they don’t specify what these ‘safety limits’ are… which isn’t very helpful — or healthful for that matter.

Also, I’m fairly certain that their safety policy doesn’t actually account for all the ‘hot steamy’ action that it gets…

Here’s what I figure you’re not figuring about your cawfee:

Oat Latte — 8oz
This would generally consist of: 1oz espresso and 7oz milk

Oat Latte — 12oz
This would generally consist of: 2oz espresso and 10oz milk

Oat Latte — 16oz
This would generally consist of: 3oz espresso and 13oz milk

Now, if like me you are Antipodean, and this makes no bloody sense to you because you were actually brought up on:
Small
Medium, and
Large…😒

Please, allow me to rephrase this for you:
Oat Latte — 240ml(ish) 
This is around 30ml espresso and 210ml milk.

Oat Latte — 360ml(ish)
This is around 60ml espresso and 300ml milk

Oat Latte — 480ml(ish)
This is around 90ml espresso and 390ml milk

So what this all means is:
Even at a modest estimate (say you’re having 1x small oat latte to 1x large oat latte daily) you could imbibe (at least):
1470ml to 2730ml of barista oat milk weekly.

Full disclosure: 
I went through a bad phase of drinking 2x small oat lattes daily.
And my reasons for drinking oat lattes were:
1) For the cows
2) For the planet
4) For the taste, and
5) (Obviously) for me — I wanted it! 

And this, knowing full well that it wasn’t good for me… or for the take-away cups! Yup. ’twas my guilty-pleasure (aka: my treat/addiction)

This equated to me consuming: 420ml of barista oat milk daily — so that’s nigh-on 3 litres weekly. (OMG.)

And, interestingly enough, when I stopped drinking oat lattes (and went ‘black’) I also stopped pooing for two weeks (😳) and my sleep went to the pack! 

Clearly, I was going through a readjustment period due to the ‘lack’ of (bad) fat, and (excessive) potassium, and phosphate in my diet…
This all happened (or rather ‘didn’t happen) right before I then ‘suddenly’ dropped to the lowest body-weight I’ve ever been able to achieve since… well, I grew past it…😎

Full closure:
Where all the poop went — I’ll never know!
I didn’t feel full, constipated… or even like I needed to ‘go’. 
It was the darndest thing, and one of (my) life’s great mysteries! 🕵️‍♀️

Please note: Removing barista oat milk is the only thing I changed in my diet. And apart from this bad-barista-brew, my diet is really ‘squeaky’ (or, as you might call it — ‘clean’).

You really shouldn’t fool yourself into thinking that you actually like coffee — if you don’t… actually.like.coffee.

Do you remember the article I wrote about eating/drinking hedonistically? In it, I explained that when you add fat and sugar (or salt) to something you make it taste way better than it would normally; essentially tricking your body into consuming something, and more of it, than you would otherwise do.

My message here is clear:
If you don’t give your body a clear message… it won’t give you a clear message back… until it needs to shout at you in order to get your attention.

Note: And let’s not forget that you’re also putting this barista oat milk into in a highly addictive substance. You’ll think your body is telling you that it can’t survive without this Adult Fluffy!