Healthy friendships

To be honest with you, if I didn’t have OOMPH and my blog to promote, I probably wouldn’t ‘exist’ on Facebook. Personally, I’m the sort of person who would abstain from social media — despite the peer pressure to be ‘connected’.

Note: I didn’t even sign-up to Facebook myself (nor did I want to). My manager, where I was working at the time (and who was seven years younger than me), did it on my behalf. She insisted that I needed it and was getting sick of asking me if I was ‘on it’ yet! Thanks a blimin’ lot, Bex. Sheesh…

To me, aimlessly scrolling through fb trying to find something worthwhile is the equivalent of ‘channel surfing’ on the television. It’s a mind-numbing, frustrating process that just leaves you feeling disappointed and unsatisfied.

Initially fb was offered as a way to connect Harvard students. As it became more popular, this network was extended to include other ivy league colleges. And then, to include various high schools. These days however, every man and his dog… and his business… and his dog’s business… has a Facebook  account.

And, while the numbers of users on this forum have swollen tremendously, the way people interact on it hasn’t evolved at all! The whole FRIEND and LIKE thing is all still very high-school like… ‘Like’, you know what I mean? 

Note: To me there should be an option to ‘acquaintance’ people – rather than to fully befriend them. I don’t like sharing my personal views and experiences with people I hardly know. (Unless of course I’ve been ‘drinking’…😎) 

To navigate this network (so as to ensure my sanity), I developed my own ‘Facebook Guide’. (It’s kinda like how you use the TV Guide to select what’s relevant to you ahead of time.) This is how I use it:

1)  To promote my  ‘good health’ message on my business page, and to promote the environment and kindness on my personal page.

2) To FOLLOW¹ the businesses and the causes that I genuinely support. I also FOLLOW my actual friends.

And obviously…this next one really goes without saying…

3) To enable me to stalk people 🤗

But enough about Facebook!

I’m only really using this social network as an excuse to segue into what I really want to talk about here:

Real & intimate social connections

Connections, that when formed, are good for your heart and are therefore good for your health in general.

I’m ashamed to admit, that I have been relying on fb to inform me when my friends and extended family are birthdaying — as well as to also let me know what they are ‘up to’…

This method, up until now, has provided me with 1) a safety net of sorts, and 2) with a false sense of connection or continuity of friendship.

This method has actually convinced me that I don’t have to provide any extra effort. Because I already have a pretty-good idea what’s going on in their lives — I’ve already seen the edited version!

But who am I really kidding? Only myself.

I don’t really know these people anymore — not in the way I used to when I initially befriended them. (Generally, people only pop their ‘highlights’ up on fb.)

And as I said previously, I’ll be buggared if I can ever remember their birthdays let alone know what to get them as a gift!  Because I’ll be honest and say I have no bloody clue what they’d actually ‘like’ anymore. I mean, I don’t know their favourite colour, their favorite scent, their favourite flower, their favourite ‘goodie’ or their favourite whatever…

I.really.don’t. know.them.at.all.anymore.

And you know what? That makes me ‘a shitty friend’! I didn’t use to be! I used to be an ace friend. (Well, I’m still an ace friend to DMF — my partner, but that’s about it.) It makes me feel sad that I don’t really know my people anymore. I feel like everyone is slowly drifting apart — and we can’t even see that we are! If we’re not careful we’ll all end up on separate deserted islands… and wonder how the heck we got here.

This realisation makes me feel disconnected from the choice people that I’ve carefully selected to be part of my life. (Not just the ones that fb has suggested to me.)

Therefore, due to my newfound status as ‘a shitty friend’ I’m going to self impose an inter-friend-tion.² To redeem myself, I plan to re-instigate the Friendship Book from the 80s — the original social networking platform!

Back in school, many of us made Friendship Books out of bog-standard, lined, school books — which we styled ourselves with various pasted cut-outs and clear or patterned contact (book covering). These books contained a series of personalised, handwritten questions that we wanted our good buddies to delight us with by providing answers for!  When I was a kid/young teen, I remember passing around friendship books (and autograph books). And, I don’t know what was more exciting, being asked to fill one in, or waiting for someone to fill yours in? I still can’t decide…

Note: It seems odd to me now, that we had to do such things then. I mean, didn’t we pretty much know all that stuff about our friends anyway? They were the people with whom we whiled away the hours with endless chatter.

I reckon I could certainly do with a dossier on what is important to my favourite people now! And, in the process of collecting this data, let my friends know that they are important to me.

I can’t be the only one ‘faking it’, right? I can’t be the only one whose friends have turned into remote contacts? I can’t be the only one who knows more about their suggested friends than their actual chosen friends?

Who’s in this with me then? Who else wants to use this old-fashioned ‘social medium’ — the Friendship Book — to rekindle their intimate relationships with their best bosom buds? 

Let me help you with some questions to ask your mates.

To begin with, loosen your friends up by asking them some basic questions. I’ll answer a few of these questions myself… because I think it’s rollicking fun! (Judge me if you will.)

Also, don’t go overboard with your line of questioning, because it will stop being so much fun.

Name (and A.K.A if necessary):

Address:

Phone number:

Arrival on planet Earth:
(Day, date, and time)

Starsign:

Chinese – Year of the:

Religious/Spiritual/Atheist:

Ancestry:

Eye colour:
(Be creative, please i.e. azure –  the colour of the sky on a clear day)

Hair colour:
(Be creative, please i.e. flaxen –  of the pale yellow colour of dressed flax)

Blood Type:

Husband/Partner/Lover:

Bestfriend:

Kids:

Pets:

Heck, you could go crazy with your line of questioning! But again, make sure you don’t actually do this — like I did during my first edit. You wouldn’t believe how many questions I culled…

Set yourself a question limit and keep your questions to your most curious. (You want to delight your friends, not annoy them…)

If you had one day to live, what would you do:

Dream job:

What inspires you:

What gives you the warm fuzzies:

Who would you ‘switch teams’ for:

What makes you laugh:
What makes you cry:

Best thing to hear:

What are you grateful for:

Your top 5 values (love, happiness, wealth):

Your top 3 beliefs (i.e I can do anything I want if I set my mind to it):

Your motto for life:

Best advice you’ve ever had:

Here’s the Friendship form that DMF and I put together – for moi to distribute around mi amigos 🤩

So, please! 🤗
Feel free to distribute this same form amongst yours – and start sharing the love today! (There will be no excuses now.) xox
💙💚💛🧡💜

Click here to download the LSS Friendship Book Form